Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.

John Gardner
About This Quote

Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. Self pity is a toxic emotion that can destroy our lives. It is an emotion that seems to be OK while it’s happening but very destructive after it subsides. Many people believe they are so special because they have fallen apart in some way. They have lost their job, failed at their goals, or have been dumped by their partner or lover.

They feel so alone, so broken, and so ugly that they are convinced they are no longer worth anything to anyone else. The feeling of grief over something that has happened to you is normal human reaction. The problem is when everyday sadness turns into self-pity where you focus on all the things that are still wrong in your life rather than focusing on what’s great about you. This can lead to very unhealthy habits like overeating, drinking too much alcohol, drugging yourself with drugs, or not taking care of yourself physically or emotionally. When you are suffering from self-pity you tend to worry about what others think of you and how they will respond to your suffering.

You try to find fault with them because if they loved you then you wouldn’t feel this way. You forget that people don’t always act in the best interest of another person when their own feelings are hurt. Their first reaction may not be to come up with solutions for your problem but instead be to point out what a loser or idiot you are for suffering so much pain in your life.

You never think about what could happen if someone really loved you and were willing to walk through fire for you because these people don’t exist in real life. Instead of turning inward and looking at all your problems and seeing how they can be solved or worked through, you focus on yourself and how bad everything must be if even the person who loves you doesn’t seem to care anymore. It can take years for someone suffering from self-pity to recover from this disease but when one does the world becomes a better place because humanity is stronger than ever before.

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